The Challenge of the “Best” Choice

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As I write this article, my three year old son is perched on my lap with my arms around him. He’s playing with one of his favorite toys, a Transformer that’s easy to transition from a fire truck to a robot, and he’s telling me stories about them.

He’s happy and safe and secure sitting here on my lap. He’s not worried that there won’t be enough food for supper or that we might have to move because we can’t afford the house. He doesn’t hear Mom and Dad arguing about money.

He just climbed down onto the floor and is now driving his fire truck around my legs. I’m “jumping” each time the fire truck runs into one of my feet and he thinks that those little jumps are simply hilarious.

His laughter just fills up this little office.

One of the most difficult lessons I’ve had to learn as a parent is that my choices regarding my children need to focus entirely on what’s best for them, not what’s best for me.

For example, when I’m at the store, there are times when I would love to buy my son a special treat because I would enjoy seeing the pleasure that it would bring him. However, I know that buying him that toy isn’t the best choice for him over the long term.

When one of my children does something wrong, it would be easier for me to either just let it slide or to just get angry, but neither one of those are the best response for the child.

The best choice in a given situation is often not what it seems to be.

When we’re making personal decisions, it’s really easy to just default to whatever choice is best for us right now in the short term. A splurge at the store? Sure! A treat in the checkout line? Why not? Do something special for my spouse or kick back and watch this movie? Let the credits roll! Bumping up that retirement savings? Hmmm… it’d make my paycheck smaller, so I’ll wait.

The problem is that the little burst of happiness you get from the short-term choice quickly fades away. That treat at the checkout is devoured quickly. That movie ends. The few extra dollars in your paycheck are spent on completely forgettable things.

At the same time, the other things you care about suffer. You don’t have any pocket money when something you really value comes along. Your spouse quietly feels taken for granted. Your retirement account barely grows.

We usually don’t see those long-term consequences when we’re making the choice in the moment. Instead, we have to think about those consequences outside of the moment and constantly remind ourselves that, by giving up a little inconsequential thing right now, we contribute to something much better later on.

Boost that retirement savings a little bit. You won’t miss the few dollars per paycheck, but you’ll definitely be glad you have more retirement savings down the road.

Skip that treat at the checkout. You’ll find a few more dollars in your pocket at the end of the week which can either be used for something more meaningful or help you get your finances on track.

Spend an hour taking care of a task your spouse is dreading – and maybe cook a nice dinner, too. Your spouse will know in a quiet way that you really care and that will radiate throughout your marriage.

As I wrote this article, my son wandered into his bedroom and came back with another Transformer toy. He played with both toys on the floor for a while, but now he’s running the toys up my leg and whispering, “Daddy.”

He wants me to play with him. In this moment, I’d rather get some work done and then play a game with one of my friends, but when I look over at his smiling face, I recognize that, before long, he won’t be a three year old boy any more. He won’t want his father to play Transformers with him. As we play, I can look for opportunities to teach him little things, talk to him about his life a bit, and make him feel more secure.

It’s time to play with some Transformers.

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A Few Thoughts About My Wife

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It is often said that a major part of success is filling your life with people who encourage your positive growth and your success.

Every single success in my life over the past decade or so has been tightly interwoven with the efforts of my wife, Sarah. There is no major success that I would have been able to achieve without her.

Whenever there’s a decision to be made, Sarah always has a valuable thought or two that I would have never considered. She does an amazing job of pulling our ideas and feelings together and developing ideas and plans for our future.

She’s always taking care of the little things that need doing, often without even saying a word. Many little things will just be done, often without anyone immediately noticing. She just does them.

She constantly makes hard choices and small sacrifices for the people in her life, putting aside what she might want to be doing in any moment to take care of those around her.

She’s incredibly bright, assembling ideas and thoughts into sensible statements and arguments and plans at the blink of an eye. If I’m ever unsure about an article or an idea I’m working on, I talk it through with her. She takes that idea and makes me look at it from many new angles that I hadn’t considered, which often results in a much deeper understanding of things.

She is there when I need someone to simply enjoy an afternoon with, doing whatever enjoyable things the day might provide. She’s there in the evening, too, when we hold each other close.

She’s an incredible mother, with a perfect blend of patience and understanding and a touch of strictness to teach our children the things they need to know for a successful life. She’s there to dot away their tears in a moment of anguish, to laugh and play with them when the mood is right, and to guide them down the path that they need to go on.

Whenever I feel low or inadequate, she knows just how to raise my mood, with just the right words or the right touch or the right look.

She has a great wit, which she rarely recognizes. She has an incredible knack for finding the humor in almost any situation and then bringing it to the forefront in a way that brings a smile to many faces.

She has an incredible sense of the moment. She knows when things need done around our home and in our community, yet she also has a knack for knowing when to put those things aside and let the corners get a little dusty.

She completes me in a way that I would have never understood before she became a part of my life.

I love you, Sarah.

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Net Worth and Pleasure

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In a post a few days ago, I made an offhand comment about how I didn’t really receive personal pleasure from seeing my net worth increase, though I once did. A few people emailed me on that subject, so I thought I’d clarify what I meant.

When I first began to overcome my personal finance mistakes, I found that calculating my net worth and looking at the change from month to month was incredibly powerful. It was a single number that provided “proof” that I was making better decisions than I was making before.

An increase in net worth meant that I was unquestionably spending less than what I earned, which is the key to personal finance success. An increase in net worth meant that all of the hard day-to-day choices I was making were actually adding up to something big.

It was exhilarating. Each time I calculated that number, I could clearly see the impact that my choices were having even if they weren’t really evident in my day-to-day life.

Over the ensuing years, however, things changed in my life. I changed careers and moved in a self-employment direction. We bought a house and had two more children. All of our debts disappeared and we started building a nice nest egg.

In other words, I began to really see the impact that our financial choices are having on our day-to-day life. If we hadn’t turned our finances around, I would not be self-employed right now. I wouldn’t be able to be sitting there waiting when my children come home off the bus. We wouldn’t be living in a nice house with enough space for a home office. I would be feeling stress from things as simple as checking the mail.

I don’t have to look very far to see how our good financial choices changed my life.

So, let’s look at those situations side-by-side. When we first started our financial turnaround, I didn’t see those changes in my day-to-day life. I was still working the same job, living in the same place, driving the same automobile.

I didn’t have the milestones in my life to demonstrate the changes brought about by our financial choices.

Today, things are different. I have lots of things in my life that have only happened because of our financial choices. Being financially stable opened the door to the house we own. Being financially stable opened the door to a career change for me, one that lets me help my children get ready for school in the mornings and be there for them when they get home, which is incredibly important for me.

I don’t need a number to show me those things.

It’s those life milestones that show me the incredible positive impact that good personal finance choices have made in my life. Every single day, my life shows me what I’ve accomplished and why I need to keep my eye on the ball.

At first, I needed that number to see that I was accomplishing something. Now? I don’t need that number. I just need to look around my life.

That’s the reward for sticking with personal finance improvement. You eventually begin to see how it affects your life in a lot of ways and when you recognize that it’s your hard work that made it happen, it inspires you to keep going.

I still figure up my net worth every once in a while, but it’s mostly an exercise to ensure that I’m making smart financial decisions. The day-to-day inspiration that I used to get from that number now comes from the realities of my life – and that’s the result of pushing through those years where I was working hard to improve things but I wasn’t seeing any direct reward.

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Finding Your Bliss Station

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Our life has become so economic and practical in its orientation that, as you get older, the claims of the moment upon you are so great, you hardly know where [...] you are, or what it is you intended. You are always doing something that is required of you. Where is your bliss station? You have to try to find it. Get a phonograph and put on the music that you really love, even if it’s corny music that nobody else respects. – Joseph Campbell

I love playing tabletop games. There is nothing that makes me happier than sitting around a table with friends new and old, playing a game together. The puzzle of the game makes my brain cells work a little, but the social interaction with the people around the table makes it sublime. For me, that’s one of my “bliss stations.” It really brings me joy.

I also getting lost in a book. I love reading nonfiction, where my mind spins around new ideas, but I also love speculative fiction, where my imagination runs wild. I love getting so deep into a book that the time just disappears. That’s another “bliss station” for me.

Another one? I actually really like getting lost in a work project, getting into the zone where the hours fly by. I absolutely love how I feel when I snap back to attention, realize that time has passed, and notice how much I’ve accomplished. That’s yet another “bliss station” for me.

The time I spend with my children is another one, as is the time spent doing pretty much anything with my wife. Sometimes, I get them when I get lost in a powerful piece of music, or when something makes me laugh deeply.

“Bliss moments” are simply those moments and situations where many of the negative parts of your life just float into the background, leaving you simply feeling great and enjoying the moment.

I believe that “bliss moments,” however you might achieve them, are the true highlights of our life. They make our day-to-day existence worthwhile. I know that they certainly make my own life worthwhile.

There was a time in my life where I felt that I was achieving “bliss moments” when I would walk out of a store with an armload of books or a new gadget or when I was trying out a new restaurant. In those moments, I would feel incredibly good about things, but those moments came with a price.

I felt empty and sad whenever I’d examine the state of my finances and get a glimpse that I was heading in the wrong direction. I’d feel distraught when I’d look at the bills and not know how I was going to pay them.

Here’s the truth: if you have to spend money to achieve a “bliss moment,” then it’s a false moment.

A bliss moment, on its own, doesn’t steal from the joy of other parts of your life. It brings joy without ever demanding a payment in return. It doesn’t give you stress at other moments in your life. It takes away that stress for a little bit and makes the stress you do have easier to handle without adding more to the pile. A “bliss moment” shouldn’t require hard choices and sacrifice later on.

Here’s a big secret that I’ve learned about personal finance and life: the more “bliss moments” you can find in your life that don’t require you to spend money, the better off you’ll be.

It’s because of that realization that I constantly seek out free sources of “bliss moments” – or at least sources that incur only the slightest additional expense. I go to community events, particularly those that are free and overlap with my interests, such as community game nights and free concerts. I consciously set aside blocks of time to allow myself to fall into the “flow” of working and, as often as I can, the “flow” of a good book. I also set aside blocks to spend specifically with my children.

These steps cost me very little in terms of my money, but they’re all powerful sources of “bliss moments,” and it’s those little moments that bring so much deep joy into my life. With those moments at hand, the desire to have more stuff falls dramatically. I don’t need “stuff” to have these moments.

Seek out the bliss moments in your life, especially the free ones. Find ways to bring them into your life on a regular basis. I’ve found nothing better in terms of making my life feel whole and making me realize that I don’t really need things or expensive experiences to enjoy a tremendous life.

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The Risk and Reward of Generics, Store Brands, and “Best Buys”

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When Sarah and I were really straining to get our finances under control, we went through a phase where we bought the cheapest versions of every food and common household product. We bought cheap coffee, cheap cereal, cheap dishwashing detergent – you name it.

As we used this stuff, we found that most of it did a very nice job. In most cases, we couldn’t notice a difference between the name brand version we used to buy and the inexpensive version we were now using.

Sometimes, though, the difference was disastrous.

I’ve told this story before on The Simple Dollar, but one of the disasters we faced came in the form of garbage bags.

Before the switch, we had purchased premium-level garbage bags and had never had a single problem with them. We were quite used to filling up our trash can to the brim, then easily pulling out the sack and taking it to the dumpster.

When we switched to the cheap bags, we continued doing the same thing – why wouldn’t we? The first bag or two held, but then one of them exploded on the carpet in front of our door, with the bottom completely ripped out of the bag. We had a huge mess to clean up.

After that, about one in every seven or eight bags would blow up. We started double-bagging, which drastically reduced (but didn’t eliminate) the blowouts, but when we did that, we calculated that we really weren’t saving money any more over the expensive bags.

(We did eventually learn that you can almost eliminate the blowouts with cheap bags if you only fill them up to about 50% to 60% of capacity and never put heavy items in them, but, again, if you’re using two cheap bags for every one expensive bag, you’re not saving much money.)

All of this taught us a pretty important lesson: it’s not always the best move to buy the cheapest version. Instead, you should strive to buy the least expensive version of an item that does its job well.

This requires some experimentation. Here’s how we’ve always approached it.

First of all, try the generic version of the product. Buy it first, before ever trying the name brand version. If you consistently buy the name brand version of a product right now, just try the generic or store brand version the next time you go to the store.

Once you’ve tried it, evaluate it. Did it do the job that you wanted it to do? If the answer is “yes,” then you essentially have no reason to not buy the generic version of that product.

Sometimes, though, you’ll find the answer is “no.” At that point, I don’t just start buying random versions at the store. I turn to Consumer Reports.

I use their website – or, if you don’t have a subscription, you can visit your library as most of them have the last few years of CR on their shelves – and look up the most recent comparison they’ve done of that particular kind of product.

I don’t buy the top one. Instead, I buy the one they’ve indicated as the top “best buy” – and I’ll usually take note of all of the ones they’ve marked as such.

In my experience, I’ve found that the product that CR marks as a “best buy” isn’t the cheapest one at the store, but it’s never the most expensive version, either. It’s a middle of the road buy. However, I can’t recall a time when the “best buy” version ever failed me.

When I look at my shopping list and the items that end up in my cart, they’re almost always a mix of generic and store brand items and items that were marked “best buy” in Consumer Reports, with more generic and store brand items than anything else.

Sure, we could afford the name brands for all of this stuff, but why? If the generic or store brand version does the job that I want, there’s no point in buying the name brand version. If the generic doesn’t do the job, why wouldn’t I look for the one that gives the most bang for the buck? For figuring that out, I trust Consumer Reports.

You know, sometimes I wish I still had some of my grocery receipts from before our financial change. Given what I remember of shopping in that timeframe, I’d probably laugh… or cry. I was constantly spending extra money on versions of items that didn’t do the job any better than the cheap versions, and over the course of a year, thousands of dollars went down the drain.

If I only knew then what I know now, our financial state would be amazing.

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Avoiding the Comfort Zone

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It is easy to become comfortable and complacent.

You get a job. You work there for a few years. You get to know the people there and the routine. You earn a few perks for being there for a while, such as a bit of additional vacation. It’s easy to just settle in and ride.

You wake up to your financial situation. You make a bunch of moves to pay down debt and establish some new routines that aren’t as costly. Eventually, you start to simply enjoy the lower bills and it all seems to come easily. You just settle in and ride.

Settling in is the easy thing to do. Usually, it’s the path of least resistance, so unless you’re consciously making other choices, you’ll probably wind up doing just that.

The problem is that “settling in and riding” is more dangerous than you think. Settling in assumes that the thing that comes easy today will last forever.

If you’re coasting in your career, you’re just assuming that your current job will just last and last. You never see the job loss coming.

If you’re coasting with your finances, you’re assuming your income will just last and last and that you’ll just eventually take care of all of your debts and your goals. You never see the changes in your life coming.

On a more positive note, if you’re just coasting with your career, you might never see opportunities for a great promotion at work or a new job opportunity that could put you in a great place. The same is true with finances – if you’re just coasting, you might not be ready to take advantage of something when it comes along.

The challenge for all of us is to avoid falling into a comfort zone. But when the comfort zone is so easy to fall into, how do we avoid it?

How do we keep ourselves ready for change when there doesn’t seem to be any change on the horizon?

One tactic is to make preparing for change part of our ordinary life routine. For example, part of your ordinary professional routine should be to keep your resume fresh through educational opportunities and taking on professional challenges in the workplace. Part of your ordinary financial routine should be improving your financial state month over month and seeking out new ways to ramp up the improvement. This should be normal behavior.

For me, I find it useful to spend some time each week looking at the various areas of my life – my professional goals, my finances, my marriage, my parenting responsibilities, my community responsibilities, my skills and passions, and so on – and ask myself what I’m doing to improve in those areas. If I can’t identify anything I’m doing right now to actively improve, then I make sure to add it to my checklist for the coming weeks.

Another tactic I value is to regularly envision disastrous scenarios. What exactly happens in your life if you lose your job? What exactly happens in your life if your spouse falls ill? What exactly happens in your life if your parents fall ill? What exactly happens in your life if your health starts to slip?

Walk through those scenarios a little bit. What would you do? You’ll quickly be able to find some steps that you could take right now to make that scenario go down smoother. Add those steps to your to-do list.

The key to both of these steps is to add things to your to-do list that will lead you to better preparedness for opportunities and for disasters. Riding in the comfort zone makes you complacent and poorly prepared for both disaster and opportunity. Every day, you have a chance to take little steps to make sure that you’re ready for whatever comes your way.

Don’t be complacent. You’ll miss out.

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Do the Hard Things First

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It’s a pretty common principle of time management. When you have a list of tasks to do, choose the one that’s hardest and do that first. That way, you tackle it with the most energy and the freshest mind.

What’s interesting is that many well-organized people use this principle quite well in the short term, but then completely discard it when looking at the long term. When they figure out today’s to-do list, they’ll choose the hard task, but when they look at plans that cover years, they avoid the hard task.

The easiest example I can think of for this phenomenon is retirement savings. Many, many people, when they’re first given the chance to save for retirement, choose not to save anything at all. They choose the easiest part first – not saving anything at all – and save the hardest part for later – socking away 10% or 15% for retirement.

As many as 40% of households near retirement age have no savings at all for retirement – and the numbers get even worse when you look at younger folks.

Your long term goals work almost exactly the same as your to-do list for today. You have more energy and more mental capacity now than you will have in the future, so you should tackle the hardest parts of your goal now, not later.

Retirement savings? Kick that rate up high now while you’re employed and have youth on your side and a strong ability to find a new job if needed.

Debt repayment? The more extra payments you throw at it right now, the less interest you’ll pay over the lifetime of the loan.

Insurance? A plan to get life insurance or health insurance in a few years doesn’t help you if something goes wrong in the next few months.

Yes, it’s hard, especially when you’re younger and your income level is lower.

However, youth has tremendous advantages. You have a much greater capacity to be flexible with your life. You have more energy and more career opportunities. You also have a much longer time horizon, meaning that you’ll have much more time on the other side of that hump.

What can you do to get started? Clean out your closet and sell your unused stuff. Choose the smaller apartment. Make some harder choices today like eating a cheap dinner at home.

Want a specific example? Try out the 52 week money challenge, but knock out all of the highest numbers first – or, better yet, do the entire thing backwards, starting with the $52 week. It’s pretty sweet when you’re finishing up that project and the last few weeks only require you to sock away a few bucks.

You are never younger and fuller of energy and motivation and ability to solve life’s problems than you are right now. Doesn’t it make sense to step up to the plate and knock down some of the more challenging parts of your goals?

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5 Tactics for Getting a Better Cell Phone Deal

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This article first appeared on U.S. News and World Report Money.

Cell phone companies want you to sign up for expensive two-year contracts. Why wouldn’t they? It’s money directly in their pocket. They’ll use every sales technique they can to get you to sign on the dotted line for a new contract.

Sometimes, that contract winds up being a good deal, but there are several things you can do to make sure that you’re getting the best deal for the services that you need. Here are five tactics you can use to make sure that you’re getting the best deal.

Use multiple methods when shopping around. If you’re at the end of your cell phone contract, the ball’s in your court. You not only have the ability to choose the specifics of a new contract, you can also jump to a new carrier.

Cellular providers offer phones and contracts in a variety of different ways – online, in retail locations, and via flyers as well. When shopping around, don’t just visit their websites to compare deals. Check out the shops of the reputable carriers in your area.

A valuable tip: before you even start comparing carriers, use OpenSignal to figure out which providers have good coverage in areas where you’re commonly going to be using your phone. There’s no point in getting a cheap cell phone if it doesn’t even work in your area.

Include prepaid phones in your comparison. Many people overlook prepaid cell phones when they shop around and compare packages and prices. For many users, prepaid phones are very competitive in their price structures and many of the prepaid providers are tied directly to larger providers (meaning that they use the network of the large providers).

Check out the prepaid offers available on sites like Amazon.com, then research the providers so that you know what kind of network they have. You may just find that a prepaid phone matches what you need at a much lower price – and without a contract.

Negotiate. If you do settle on a particular offer, nothing’s keeping you from negotiating. You can simply tell the provider that you’re considering switching to them – or that you’re currently shopping around with other providers – and simply ask for some perks.

It’s often useful to come armed with comparable deals from other providers. Simply state that another provider has this particular deal and ask if they can adjust the price on one of their packages to match it.

Remember, the worst thing that can happen is that they say “no.”

Check for a professional discount. Many employers have arrangements with major cellular providers for a discount on their plans for all of their employees. For example, Verizon’s employee plan provides discounts for the employees of thousands of businesses – and it’s easy to see if you qualify.

Check with your employer to see if they have such an arrangement and, if they do, use that as a part of your price comparison.

Ask to compare the plan you’re considering with a no-contract version. If you’re considering signing a contract in order to get a cheap phone, ask the provider what the cost of a non-contract version of the same plan costs. Generally, non-contract plans are significantly less expensive per month, but do not provide a discounted phone.

This gives you the freedom to find an unlocked phone and use it (provided it’s compatible with your provider) or use an older phone that you already have. In either case, it can drastically reduce your monthly cost if you’re willing to spend more at the start of the contract, adding up to a net savings.

These tactics, when used in concert, can significantly reduce the amount that you have to pay each month for your cell phone.

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5 Tactics for Getting a Better Cell Phone Deal

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